Forgive and Forget?

...I wish it was that easy. I guess I am pretty forgiving. I am still, to many extents, still friendly with many – if not most – of my ex guys. I don’t really think there is anything inherently wrong with me. I look like my pictures, and I’m not overweight and ugly. If I truly wanted to (and I don’t) I could go out every Friday night and get a “date.”

If someone stays with me long enough, they do discover the obvious about me, that I am a little witchy, as is my little dog. It is a hard thing to hide. In fact, it’s generally hard for someone NOT to notice that I’m reading their thoughts and that I foresee many things before they happen (weird girl that I am). And oddly, other than one rather superstitious man who thought I was out to get him somehow, most people are unusually curious and attracted to it. So taking all that into consideration, I don’t really scare men off and I’m not unattractive, but it does concern me that either they actually CHEAT on me, or they wish they could. And yes, they do forget who and what I am so I always know. One gentleman was e-flirting via texts and phone calls. Without ever picking up his phone and snooping, I knew. We spent seven months apart once I asked him why he was doing this and with whom he was doing it. I never really got a straight answer but he knew he could never deny it, given who I am.

The strange thing is that after I get over the initial shock of “What?? AGAIN??” and I start on the downhill towards healing… again…  I let it go and can offer forgiveness if asked (though I never go back once kicked to the curb). But the problem is, and not for me actually, I don’t really forget. This, I surmise, is a problem for him – in the aftermath.

I suppose that I should explain.

People like me, who are able to call the Spirit and the Elements, possess more gifts than just this ability. In doing so, along with the utterance of a well-written incant, one can accomplish many things. Above all things, we never, but never, harm anything or anyone. “Do no harm,” is our mantra. But several things come into play here. The first is the obvious rebound that Karma plays. If something negative is done against witchy girls like me, or ANYONE for that matter, Karma comes back to pay. This is not something that we control. It just is what it is. The other thing is the ability of the unconscious mind to inadvertently send back the filth and disgust left by the other person upon the innocent party. Because of this ability and the hurt, it boils to the top and is sent back out in the form of raw energy. After the fact, and after the redefining of our past relationship into a civil friendship, I am usually made privy to the information about their lives and how they haven’t gone “that well.”

Examples:

E- He made me so mad (long before I knew what I am), that I hurled a curse at him, “You will always be a “f-k and run.” I can’t believe you did this to me!” To this day, he still is and admits that he is a lousy boyfriend and not good at relationships a full decade later.

W- Blatantly cheated on me right under my nose. Now? The gal he cheated with became his bride shortly after and she dumped him sooner than later. It was a nasty divorce.

B- Had a lot of fun at my expense. Not literally but well, you know. He used me, telling me he needed me and really flat out lied to me. He had no intention of ever making me a permanent thing. Now that he’s dismissed me? Stuck in a very loveless, non-physical marriage. I can hardly feel sorry for him.

S- He is an artful liar and a master manipulator. I never really gave it any thought because he is so good at what he does. Until he cheated right under my nose (I apparently need eyes on the end of my nose). The way I found out would raise the hairs up on your arms. Maybe someday I’ll tell you how I was “told” – or maybe if you post a question in a comment I’ll tell you. But it wasn’t until he apologized over and over again, telling me he made a huge mistake, and telling me that he wasn’t using me (for sustenance and a home) that it occurred to me that he WAS using me! He shouldn’t have brought it up cuz it caused me to actually consider it. When a person’s heart is involved, it’s very hard for them to “see” the real reason behind the events. I “did no harm,” though I do have the ability to stir up a shitload of crap for him. Instead, I imprinted charms on my house to protect me and my home from him, his machinations, and the evil residue that remained after I forced him out of my life. Using his own superstitions against him, I kept his toothbrush and hairbrush when I threw his stuff out of the house and changed the locks. I wrote a rather efficient incant, utilizing his being born under a fire sign against him. I repeated it 3 times as I passed his items over the flame of the candle representing the fire element. The items were left near the front and back doors. If he PASSES through the doors, he will then release a huge can of cosmic woop-ass against himself. Because I “do no harm” I was forced to tell him about it. I told HIM that he would be responsible for releasing it against it, not me. Being thusly warned, he said he’d never come on my property again. Superstition is a superb weapon.

The final sentence for him? He’s not doing that great either. But, it really hasn’t been that long. He got arrested and locked up for a year. And I still get updates, in my own special way of course, that he is manipulating a girl into hiding him (from what? his probation officer?), feeding him, clothing him, and doing whatever else he needs.

Now, you may wonder, if I am not the one doing this to these men, then what is? It can’t all just be Karma. I have a theory. My brain “sends” as you know. Many times, it is without full intent to accomplish something. I think I am sending back to them, not my thoughts, but my negative energies. I can’t forget the hurt and pain caused by their deceit. I still carry it with me. When I think about any one of them, I can feel it literally rising up from me; I can feel it moving away from me as if on a wind current. I have wondered sometimes where that energy settles. I think it is sent back to them.

Try as I might, I can’t stop it. If I’m conscious, I’ll stop dwelling on it to keep it from leaving me. But if I’m in twilight sleep, I cannot stop it.

What is a girl to do? I have forgiven. But I just can’t forget.

Expanding Your Mind’s Abilities

As I was growing up, I was always taught that one’s natural abilities in regard to the mind were not normal, that they in fact, were of evil nature. It took me years (as you’ve read previously on this blog) for me to come to accept the fact that my mind, can, and will continue to do things that most people’s brains cannot.

I do not understand why uber religious folks can’t accept that the obvious gifts that the Almighty instilled in us are not the only things that the human mind can do. It was when I separated myself from mainstream religion and became a Deist, that I fully “allowed” myself to watch from afar the things I can do (and marvel at them). I will write about Deism later, but until then, you can visit deism dot com to learn more. If religion bothers you, but you still cannot separate yourself from the belief in the Almighty, then you are a Deist. Bet you didn’t know that!

Maybe my experience in self-realization is similar to yours. If so, I’d love to hear from you.

Very early in my life, the life of a small child, I would “see” things happening immediately before they did. It was always simple things like thinking about a song, and then my mom would sing it (which is actually telepathy) or the radio would play it (precog ability). As I aged into my tweens, I thought maybe I was making things happen and hoped that I didn’t make something happen that would be “bad.” By the time I was in my late teens and knew exactly what I was doing, I tried NOT to do it. Let me be the first to tell you, you can’t NOT make your mind work. It does not work that way. However, it does slow the progress of the evolvement of your abilities. After my kids were born as I was in my 20s, I started fully understanding how and why my mind was different.

One thing that stands out in my mind was when I was 28. My youngest child was 3, was well-spoken and quite bright for his age. I’d taken him, his 10 year old half brother and 8 year old half sister to a kids’ movie at the theater. On my way back, I was playing a children’s cassette tape in the tape deck and thinking to myself what to make for dinner (cuz who wants to drag 3 tired kids through a grocery store). It popped into my head that I  had everything at home to make spaghetti. So I thought that this is what I’d make, easy peazy. But just like that, my youngest, my 3 year old piped right up and said out loud, “But Mommy, I don’t like puzz-ketty!” I swear, it happened exactly like that. For a second I thought that I had spoken out loud until my 10 year old said something like, “Why did he say that?” I was dumbfounded. He “heard” me, and even pronounced spaghetti incorrectly. To this day, I don’t know if I “sent” to my child, or if my child is a “reader.” He is 24 now. He’s a very dynamic individual and frankly, I don’t think he’d even acknowledge if he is telepathic.

Another fun example of what a telepathic brain can do is something that happened one day recently at work. I came in and gave my coworker a little beaded angel that I had made for her. She seemed to really like it. As I was talking about how much fun they are to make, I told her how recently my four nieces had visited (all under the age of 14). One day, it was raining so to entertain them, I sat them down at the dining room table and we made beaded dolls from my beaded angel pattern. We had such a GREAT time and I was sitting there in my cubicle reminiscing out loud to my coworker; such a fond memory for me. That was around 11 in the morning. About an hour later, an email popped into my mail box from my nieces. And they attached a picture of them and their beaded dolls! O.M.G.! I know I sent them (unconsciously) my happy memory. They took my memory as an original thought and emailed me their picture. They live 3500 miles away from me. This is the first time I’ve “sent” at such a long distance.

For the last almost 8 years, I’ve been very close to a person. One thing that is consistent with us is that we always share thoughts. How do we know? I’ll say something and he says, “I was just thinking that.” And the vice versa happens too. We often call each other or text each other at the same time. We only live 13 miles from one another. While he is not my first telepathic experience, it’s a very homey and comforting experience to me.

It should never surprise one that gifts of telepathy and precog abilities exist. They are measurable electrical impulses that our brains send. Can we not read electrical brain waves by means of an EEG (electro-encephalogram)? They are real. They exist. Science has proven as much. If our brain is able to send out electrical charges in this way, it should not surprise one that other brains can pick up the charge. Naturally, it happens best when you are surrounded by people with a like mind. Can you imagine what the world would be like if everyone was a believer and we all worked on our internal communication abilities?  The world would certainly be a different place. For sure.

I hope that you’ll be able to allow your mind to expand its abilities. It’s such a rewarding gift.

The Gift of Intuition

Generally, a young child sees things exactly as they are. They, for the most part, have no preconceived notions or ideas.

When I was very young, 8 or 9, I started noticing patterns in occurrences surrounding me. For awhile, I thought that I was making things happen cuz I’d “see” it in my head and then seconds later, the event would occur. These weren’t major events. These were simple things like knowing a train was coming and we should get the family car over the tracks sooner than later cuz we’d be late for our destination, or what song was coming on the radio next. These were just some of my childhood foresights.

Apparently, I’ve been a rather strong intuit since I was young. The only problem was that it was squelched pretty early too, so I didn’t get the opportunity to exercise my gift as early as I should have. Instead of accepting that some gifts (like things that the mind is capable of), some Christian groups are too quick to deride these things as belonging to the Devil. Really? How then, can they explain that sometimes an innocent child can do these things? Or that they have premonitions right in the middle of God’s “sanctuary” where in theory, they should be protected from the machinations of the Devil? To this day, I’ve never met a Satan worshipper who is a precog. One would assume that their covens would be loaded with people like me if these Universal gifts were from the Devil. I was a child of extreme Christianity, so it was inculcated in me early to push such “unnatural” ability away. I NEVER told anyone what I could do.

Because of these unfounded teachings, many Christians with natural abilities push them away and won’t allow the natural flow of brain activity to function. As it stands, people that know about these things and accept them as reality, actually recognize premonitions for what they are and not simple coincidences. In recent years, I personally see more so-called coincidences for what they really are, and that is because as I age, my mind it more in tune with my brain’s activities. It’s somewhat like a muscle, the more you use it, the more proficient you become. But my point is, if people were “allowed” to accept such gifts, we’d probably have more people who are functioning telepaths and precogs. Only then would we all be able enjoy using our abilities out in the open.

They say that we only use 1/10 of 1% of our brain. That is indeed a very small amount. I would wager that our brain is quite capable of using itself to do more than it thinks it can. Why is that? Perhaps our social evolution hasn’t allowed us to get to that point yet (because some us use our capability, but we don’t freely share it with the mainstream populace). Or perhaps our Almighty does not think we have reached the stage of humanity that can handle such a gift. Still, some of us have it, and we can use it, albeit in a limited way. I WISH that I had more ability. But I am limited. Maybe I’ve not been gifted with more since I have no real need for it at this time. All I can say, is that my intuitions have grown in capacity and number the older I get.

For instance, several years ago, I put on my running shoes, stepped outside to stretch my legs and as I bent over, my mind’s eye saw a small child with very dark hair, wearing white. But that is all. Over the years, so many random images pop into my head that most come and go with me barely noticing (because I cannot tell the difference between a vision or if someone else’s thought, in my vicinity, has reached me). This day was no different, the vision came…and went. I ran to the library (1.3 miles) then turned around to come home. As I started up a hill near my home, I looked up to see a small Asian girl, white shirt and shorts and tennis shoes standing in the road (of 40 MPH). She may have been 2 ½ -3 years old. In split seconds, I heard a car coming up fast behind me, looked to see no traffic coming towards me, looked over my shoulder to see who was coming (it was a sporty white car, coming way too fast), started sprinting across the road, and waving my arms for the driver to slow down. As I grabbed up the little girl, I notice another little one, also in white, perhaps a year younger, standing near the mailbox holding a baby bottle. I scooped her up too. All of this happened in time to feel the breeze that the car created blowing my long hair around my face. Whew. (And yes, I gave the mom an earful when I deposited her two children at her front door.) I sobbed all the way home from the shock of it all. Sometimes I think my brain prepared me for this occurrence by showing it to me 45 minutes earlier. There is no other explanation.

When I worked at a healthcare system, I walked into the break room one day to specifically get something out of the refrigerator. Instead, I walked right up to the coffee maker to make a fresh pot. About one second after I thought to myself, “Why are you doing this? You didn’t want coffee.” our CEO, a rather exacting man who knew what he wanted when he wanted it, walked in and said, “Oh good, when that is finished brewing would you bring me a fresh cup, black?” I guess I saw that he needed fresh coffee before he told me his did.

Recently, while driving home from the bus station, I saw (in my head) a fair-colored dog running up beside the road towards me. As soon as I drove around a curve, there he was, happily trotting a consistent gait as if he knew exactly where he was going and for some reason, I could tell. Being an animal lover I slowed up to see if I needed to get him and help him find his home. However, he stopped, looked both ways, crossed the street, and continued down a driveway as if he knew exactly where to go. I’ve seen him since. He stands at the end of his driveway often, just watching the world go by, seeming almost human. The point? I saw him before I saw him.

And so it goes. This is what I do.

This talent comes in handy when one is driving a bit too fast on the expressway, and believe me, I’ve used it. I generally know where police cars are before I get there. But alas, I can’t turn it on and off with some sort of cerebral switch. Some days I do. Some days I don’t.

A Daughter of the Earth

The title “Daughter of the Earth,” has usually been bestowed upon a Native American woman. And I totally agree that Native Americans are closer to the so-called Earth Religions and most of the general population of earth-dwellers.

But in reality, are we all not members of the human family? If they are the Daughters, and I am related by merit of being a fellow earth-dweller, AND I understand the Universe’s influence on the Earth, then I too can consider myself a daughter.

I like this title. For years, I have not cared so much for the influence of mainstream religion on its adherents. Sometimes, they stir up such hatred and their followers jump on board with it, as history has shown. I just don’t understand this mentality. I have read the Christian bible. I see in the Old Testament that there was indeed a lot of racism, intolerance, and hatred. Could that be why “some” that adhere to Christianity allow themselves to act out like this? Even though I believe that Jesus Christ existed, he didn’t teach his people to behave like this (even secular, non-religious writings impress this upon us). So since they choose to misbehave, I choose not to bear their title of Christian. Somehow, they lost track of his message of love and peace. The very definition of “Christian” is to be a follower of Christ. Some of them do not do a very good job. So, for me, I shall be a Daughter of the Earth.

So what does this title mean? It simply means to understand the influence that is held over the Earth, by its mother, the Universe. I’m not talking about the physical influence as defined by teachers and students of Physics. They assume that the expansion of the universe is a given fact, as most scientists do. However, I am talking about things that effect us that are not measurable, things unseen. Things like:

The elements
The spirit
Karma (Christians call this Reaping What You Sow, Grandmother calls it What Goes Around Comes Around)
Reading the electrical impulses radiating off of the brain’s of others in your vicinity
Sending your own thoughts as electrical impulses
Recognizing earthbound entities who have something to do… or say… or don’t want to leave
Knowing what a soul is (you may be surprised cuz I KNOW)
Knowing that coincidences are actually a pretty rare occurrence
Life traveling in circles
Being drawn to a like mind

So you may ask, if I believe that the Universe is Earth’s mother, do I believe it had a father? Indeed I do. Do I believe in the Almighty? Yes. But it is without the influence of man-made religion, so much of it being steeped in falsehoods and strange mythologies. My knowledge of Him is absolute and as the Extreme Deity. Some day, I will write about Deism and what it means.

Once you have done even minor research, you will see that it makes so much sense. It is easy to understand. And it makes it so much easier to be a member of Mankind, with a broader, fuller understanding of your responsibility to be a citizen of Earth.

Me? I am also a Daughter of the Earth.