The fact is, it's never really over.

Sitting on the bus for a total of one hour every day leaves me with a lot of moments for contemplation. But then, this topic has been on my mind for much for the last two years anyway so maybe that is why I can't get it out of my head. I've tried to come to a resonable conclusion about why we, both men & women, need to and sometimes don't, find that thing called closure. Why exactly do we think we must have it?

Let's talk about the soul first, because I know that has something to with it. Whether you feel it is a soul, a life force, or one's natural energy, when we leave for eternity, that energy that causes us to be (to exist) has to go somewhere; energy is just what it is, a force that continues in some way, somewhere. It is everywhere and it is what makes us solid. One of Einstein's great insights was to realize that matter and energy are really different forms of the same thing. Matter can be turned into energy, and energy into matter.

See? It really is all very scientific. When you are "with" someone, I have come to this fact: part of you does indeed permanently join with the other person. What part? And when it is over, does one actually find that cliche' "closure" that everyone talks about? No, we do not. Not completely anyway. It is impossible.

Just follow this line of reasoning here and you may agree with these reasonable conclusions.

1. We SING songs, WRITE songs, LISTEN to songs about this topic all the time! The singer laments that a little piece of her heart left with him. Or the singer may convey words that some small part of his soul now belongs to her and always will. If this isn't naturally deep-seated in us anyway, then why do we continually and subconciously continue to sing that this happens? Does the door ever really close?

2. That may be the key word here: subconciously. Somewhere deep into our untapped psyches, we know that some small piece of us remains with the person(s) that we were with. We never really leave. The door can't totally close.

3. The most telling piece of evidence to me is that when an elderly person passes away who has been with the same one and only mate since late childhood, his or her mate generally follows in death pretty quickly afterwards. For some reason, we are never surprised by this (it is because we really do know why). It's like down deep (subconciously) we know that their life forces, their souls, their energies have merged together. When one leaves, the other does too. They are so wrapped up and enclosed in the other person's psyche, they can't stay here without the other. It is the only way he or she can get "closure."

The fact is, men are effected in the same way, just as women are. My experience has been that years after it's "over" I continue to hear from them often. Wait? Wasn't there closure? Maybe not. Maybe some small piece of the person merged with the other and they can't help but be even a little bit drawn back, like their soul, life force, energy is seeking that part that "got away." In the end, yes, you may feel negative feelings toward him (or her) for what he did to you. They can be hate (because of the nature of what he did), disgust (because of the way he did it), loathing (because of the way events transpired right before your very eyes), and even a little longing (to get back that little piece that was cut away from you). But that is only because a small part of your literal soul is still entertwined with the other's soul.

And for me, and perhaps you, just like the song says, "for me, it isn't over." And knowing what we know about our life energy, it never will be.

That's something to think about isn't it? For every person you've loved, you have left a small part of your life's energy with him or her. And you can never get it back. The door is still partially open. And it's never really "over."

So if you are one of those that has had plenty of significant others, remember this. Every time you break it off, part of you leaves forever, never to be retreived.